Ready to cause permanent scars!!!!

I was going to title this post "ready to shoot Paul", but I thought someone might see it and think I'm serious and call the cops... Don't want that...

I'm so upset!!! I told Paul that I REALLY REALLY REALLY want to take the hypnobirthing classes. And of course the first thing he says is "How much is it"... Who the FUCK cares how much it is, if this is going to help me give birth, and keep me comfortable I want it. I'm just so mad that everytime I tell him I want something to help me thro labor he says "how much is it".... everytime I tell him we need something for the baby "how much is it"... it just pisses me off... Why is everything money with him?! I just don't get it. I'm just so mad at him right now. I don't even want to look at him! lol... UGH!!!! He's not the one giving birth... you can be damn well reassured that if he had to push out an 8 lb baby he'd take whatever classes, hire whomever he needed, and did whatever he needed to do to be comfortable, and he wouldn't think twice about how much it is.

I know money doesn't grow on trees, and we dont have an endless supply of money. But we can afford it... He's pretty much telling me that if I want to take the hypnobirthing classes then we can't go to AR for Christmas. It just makes me so mad that he's asking me to choose between the two. Do I want to see my family (whom I haven't seen in over a year -almost two years) or do I want to be as comfortable as possible when I give birth? I just don't see how he can ask me to choose between the two. It makes me so upset.

He thinks that because we hired the Doula we don't need to do anything else. Don't need to take any birthing classes or anything like that... It just upsets me so much.

I want to be so comfortable giving birth and I think taking the hypnobirthing classes will help. I just get so upset because if this was him he would be taking every birthing class available to him, hire 12 doulas, and do whatever he wanted... but I don't get to do that.

Don't get me wrong, I love my husband, and for the most part he is supportive. But sometimes he drives me crazy. Everything is money with him, and I just don't get it. I've never been all about money. And never will be. But that's all he thinks about.... "how much is this going to cost? how much is that going to cost? can we afford that?"....

This is something we're going to live with for the rest of our lives, and this is a HUGE decision (how to birth our baby). He agreed to help me go all natural and whatever I wanted. But now he's not letting me do everything I want. I just don't get that.


UUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH