Sunday, April 27, 2008

Baby Stuff for the Next Year

I feel almost embarrassed to put this on here, but I figure I can get some input from my BabyCenter ladies on this!

I am trying to figure out what baby stuff we are going to need for the next year, and how much it is going to cost us, so we can put it into our new budget (because of the stinkin mortgage going up).

Please keep in mind that this is for the next year only. Let me know if you think I have left anything out, not figured enough needed on an item, can do without some things, need something, etc... All advice is welcomed here ladies... Have fun!!!

  • Bright Starts Around We Go Activity Center - $89.99
  • Fisher Price Melodies and Lights Deluxe Gym - $59.99
  • Ocean Wonders Kick and Crawl Gym - $29.99
  • The Floppy Seat - $39.99
  • Bumbo Baby Sitter - $39.99
  • Avent 2 Pack Pacifiers (4) - $4.99 ($19.99)
  • Dr Browns 7 oz. Glass Bottles 2 pack (2 needed) - $12.99 ($25.98)
  • Dr. Browns Bottle Cleaning Brushes 4 pack (2) - $3.99 ($7.98)
  • Dr. Browns Natural Flow Bottle Brush (3) - $3.99 ($11.97)
  • Space Saver High Chair - $49.99
  • Food Processor - $19.99
  • Gerber Soft Bite Spoons 6 pack - $5.99
  • The First Years Take and Toss Bowls with Lids 7 pack - $2.99
  • Super Yard XT - $64.99
  • Safety First Perfect Fit Gate (3) - $29.99 (89.97)
  • Especially for Baby Cabinet and Drawer Latches 12 pack - $2.99
  • Dreft (2) - $19.99 (39.98)
  • Diapers for one year - $300
  • Wipes for one year - $200
  • Clothes for one year - $300
  • Toys for one year - $200

Total - $1602.76 (not including taxes)

Total with taxes - $1698.83

Which comes to $141.57 a month....

I hope this works... I just don't know if I'm forgetting something or if I'm not compensating enough for diapers, wipes, and clothes... I'm just guesstimating on those items, the other items I know how much they cost at Babies R Us.

xoxoxo

Amanda

Saturday, April 26, 2008

Happy 2 year Anniversary!!!

Today is our two year anniversay. Two years ago at this time (7:40 central) we were at our wonderful BBQ reception drinking beer with our friends and family and piggin out on hot dogs and hamburgers... Yummy!!!

Today we cleaned out the garage, cleaned the kitchen, played with Cooper, and had a fight.... Go figure!

Long story short... as short as can be anyways... Paul paid for Jen's State Boards ($150) without telling me.

We were originally going to pay for her Boards until she ran up her phone bill ($350), we decided after this that we wouldn't pay for her Boards, and this culminated in her being told to move out.

A couple of weeks ago Jen called and said that she needed a credit card to pay for the State Boards. So Paul said that we would put it on our card, she would give us the money, and we'd pay it back to the card... No biggie right... Something in my gut was telling me this was a bad idea, and I tried to talk about it with Paul but he got upset, like he always does when I disagree on anything that has to do with Jen.

So she came over, Paul put it on his card, and she gave us a check... Paul has never cashed the check.

I asked him today if he cashed it and he said Yes, so I believed him... like any wife would! Then I find the check on the floor where he usually puts his laptop bag, which means the check fell out of his bag... Which means the check was never cashed, deposited, etc.

I asked him why the check was there and he said he didn't know he had cashed it... He said that she must have written us two, which I knew wasn't true because I was sitting there when she wrote the check. I kept calling him out on it and he kept insisting that he had deposited it. So I got online to look for the deposit in our checking out... Of course there wasn't one!

So again I called him out. He then said that he didn't deposit the check but paid it straight to the credit card when he went to the bank... Hmmm, I wasn't aware that you could do that! This definitely didn't sound right to me and I kept asking if he had done that why there was still a check there... He kept saying that she must have given us two by mistake. Then went out to water the lawn.

No remember, we have just learned that our mortgage is going up 800 bucks. We can't even afford to go out to dinner on our anniversary, so I'm in the kitchen cooking alphabet soup for our anniversay dinner... How romantic!

When he came back in I kinda dropped it for a lil bit because Cooper was fussing and gave him some soup to eat. I went back in the kitchen to finish my soup and to eat, but Coop kept fussing and when I went to get him Paul got him before I did. (Our soups are still sitting on the table, that is if the cat hasn't eaten them)

Paul took Coop to the loft ont he 3rd floor and I stayed downstairs for a lil bit, but after a while I went up there as well. I knew that he was lieing to me, straight to my face and I wanted the truth.

So I asked him why he didn't just tell me that he was planning on paying for her Boards and that he had done it. He said that he was afraid of me and didn't want to argue about it!! HELLO!! I would think talking to me before hand would have been better then lieing and me finding out afterwards. He went on to tell me that he had paid for the Boards for her. That he told her when they wen't out to dinner he wouldn't deposit the check until she was ready to pay for the phone.

I am so pissed at him right now. We can't afford to go out to dinner on our anniversary, we can't afford a play center for our baby, but he thinks we can afford to pay $150 for Jens Boards... I never use more the $10 bucks without talking to him about it first, and he's always done the same. I feel betrayed right now... I knew something was up when he came back from dinner with her a couple of weeks ago, but didn't want to start anything... Damnit.

So now we can't deposit the check because I'm sure it will bounce. You know she's already used the $150 because she thinks he wasn't going to deposit it. And now we are stuck paying for her boards. If he calls her and tells her that we need the money now she won't have it, and she'll know that I'm the reason we're making her pay... I'm going make him call her and have her bring us CASH. We need the money.

Happy Fucking Anniversary!

Friday, April 25, 2008

More on the Pitocin

I talked to my chiropractor today, she is the head of the MI chapter of birthnetwork and amazingly knowledgeable at all things pregnancy, birth, baby related. I asked her why they would feel the need to give me pitocin, and she said that it is standard procedure in a hospital to give women pitocin AFTER they have the baby to help deliver the placenta. If the stupid dr.s would do their research they would know that breast feeding is the best uterin contractor available after labor. But after a baby is born doctors just want to get the hell outta there as quickly as possible. Afterall I was on a time table there... the fucking doctors time table.. ass hole. He was so impatient with my placenta being delivered. He was pushing and mashing on my stomach, sighing even, and getting pretty rough trying to get the placenta to deliver. So I'm sure that is when he decided to shoot me up with a drug... without my knowledge.

Just a refresher - They took Cooper away about 15 minutes after he was born and didn't bring him back for about 15 minutes, even though his Apgars were 8 and 9... Excellent apgars, so no reason to keep him from me. I kept yelling for them to bring him back to me and they wouldn't. finally I told Paul to just pick him up and bring him back, I guess that's when they realized I meant business and brought him back...

I'm just so pissed that they gave me drugs without my knowledge... forget informed consent, they didn't even tell me they were giving it to me. That is illegal. I feel so violated, but I am working through this. I still refuse to pay for the pitocin though! Seriously, they can't make me pay for something I would have said no to anyways.

It's definitely a mourning process, mourning the birth that I should have had. I thought I had worked through the vacuum extraction and then WHAM here's a pitocin bomb dropped on me. I finally stopped crying about it last night, but I am still so pissed and am thinking of having a consultation with an attorney to see if a lawsuit would be worth it. I'm not looking for money, I just want doctors to realize they can't get away with pushing people around... with using fear tactics to get their way. It's not fair.

Coops asleep in his boppy so I'm gonna go wash some bottles... lil punk still won't latch on!! LOL Gotta love him though!!! I swear he woke up bigger yesterday then he was the day before... No joke... He serioulsy LOOKED and felt bigger then he did on Wednesday. He's constantly changing and growing. Paul and I are constantly amazed by him... to think a microscopic sperm and cell made a baby.... and in 9 months... A pure miracle!!

I'm outta here!!

xoxoxo

Amanda

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Oxytocin/Pitocin

I am so angry right now. I don't even know if this post will make any sense but I need to get it out somewhere.

I just received my itemized hospital bill from when I gave birth to Cooper. And on that bill is a charge for 20 units per liter of OXYTOCIN which is pitocin... I am so angry that they gave me pitocin. I was in labor when I got to the hospital and it was not necessary. They said they were doing the IV for hydration, obviously they lied to me and snuck the pitocin in. No wonder Coopers heart rate was dropping and they felt it was necessary to do a vacuum extraction. I am so pissed right now. and so shocked. I can't even believe this.

I am seriously considering speaking with an attorney. Obviously I am calling the hospital to have it taken off our bill ($110). I refuse to pay for pitocin.

I can't stop crying. I thought the one thing that I had stuck to, that I had control over, during his birth was no drugs. The one thing I was so proud of, and that was just ripped away. No wonder Coopers heart rate was dropping, or so they say... his heart rate sounded fine to me on the monitors.

I don't even know what to say... I just... I'm so mad.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Uncle Sam sucks!

We got some baaaaad news in the mail today from our mortgage company.

Apparently New Haven taxes went up this year and we don't have enough in escrow... We're like $6300 short!!!! The paper says that if we pay the $6300 by June 1st then our mortgage payment go up to $1800 (it's $1500 now). If we don't pay the $6300 by June 1st then our payments go up to $2360!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG!!!

Where the hell do they think we're going to get 6300 bucks at in less then 2 months? And where the hell do they think we're going to get an extra 800 bucks a month?!!? This is so frikkin ridiculous.

I don't know what we're going to do.

Paul is thinking about borrowing on his 401k, but I really hate for him to do that because he worries about retirement so much (that is his biggest stressor). He said he could borrow on it and then just increase the payments toward is by $50 a paycheck and be back up to the amount it is now in now time... I still don't like the idea of him having to do that though.

I said I could go back to work, but then we would have to pay for childcare and my paycheck woulnd't even cover child care! LOL I said I could work nights and Paul would have to get up with Coop at night and I would just have to stay up with him during the day... Meaning neither of us would ever sleep again... So that idea is out.

The lease on Paul's car is up in Nov. and we're talking about not getting another car for a lil while... just to save a little money. We would be saving $400 a month on the lease alone, and then save on less insurance... But that's not until Novemeber.

We're currently in the process of trying to refinance. If that works out then we may be okay... Ya know the mortgage would go down, but taxes being so high it would really stay the same it is now... If that makes any sense to anyone. We won't know about that for a couple of weeks though, Paul just gave Brian the paper work for refinancing a few days ago. Hopefully that works out and everything will pretty much stay the same...

We've gone through the house thinking of things to sell... Let's see there the cat - no, they would bring him back or we'd have to pay them! The dog... They'd bring her back too. Cooper... Nope he's priceless LOL.

We could just do like that dude in Englad did a couple of years ago and sell everything we own on Ebay, right down to his last pair of underwear.

Paul just said "Maybe we can do something illegal. What could we do illegal that's easy, fast money, and not much of a chance getting caught." Okay to all officers of the law that just read that, he's JOKING! LOL We're not going to do anything illegal.

Now that I've ranted about that it's time to go feed Cooper...

Please send all checks to our house!!! Direct deposit is better!! Thank you! lol

xoxoxo

Amanda

More Vaccine Info

I've gotten quite a response from friends and family members over my vaccination entry a few days ago so I wanted to add some helpful websites for those who are interested in researching more.

Mary Tocco's Website

909Shots

Think Twice

Enjoy!!

Amanda

6 week check ups!!! 9 lbs!

Cooper and I had our 6 week check ups yesterday.

My appointment was at 3 so I'll start with that one. Paul and I had my appointment with Kathy, I made my appointment with her on purpose. 1. because she is the head midwife at the office and we wanted to talk to her about our birth and 2. because we just really like her! lol

So she came in and asked "how as your birth?" I just started telling her everything that I thought was "wrong" with the way things went, how disrespected we felt, how ignored we felt, that we didn't like me being told to "get angry", that "the baby wants to be born" is not a cause for concern for us, etc. She totally understood and was upset that I was being told to get angry and that no one was communicating to us about what was going on, about what was "wrong".

It was nice to talk to her and get it all out. She suggested that I make an appointment with Carol to just talk and let her know how I feel. I'm not so sure about this. On the one hand I would like to speak with her, but on the other hand I know if I see her I'll just break down crying right now... I'll give it some more time. I made my appointment for July (pap smear) with Carol, we'll see how I feel then. If I don't feel like speaking with her I'll cancel and reschedule with someone else, if I do feel like it then I'll keep it.

It was very nice to have our feelings vaildated by Kathy. We were made to feel human again, and not just a number. She said that her first birth was the same way as mine, and that's why she became a midwife. I'm seriously considering the whole midwifery/doula aspect as a career choice... Not sure though.

We did talk about Jenny a little. Not too much though. Kathy understood everything from Jennys perspective, why she was so outspoken for me. Doula's are not supposed to speak with the medical staff, but Jenny did. Jenny was speaking for me and saying that I didn't want certain things done... That is not a Doulas role. But Jenny was speaking for me because no one was listening to me or Paul... She was just trying to get someone to listen, of course they never did though.

Enough on that though! I was told that I've healed up very nicely and everything is back to normal. We were given the okay for sex and I was given the okay for exercise as well... She gave me a prescription for the mini-pill... But I don't forsee sex happening anytime soon, who has the energy, let alone the time!?!? LOL We'll see... Our two year anniversary is on Saturday... Yea, not so sure about that one... I think my va jay jay is having post traumatic shock still!!! I'm very nervous about having sex, afraid it will hurt. We shall see....

On to Coopers 6 week appointment...

Coopers appointment was at 415 and we barely made it there on time... Of course dr.s are never on time so it really didn't matter.

I was in total shock when he got weighed. I was thinking he would be maybe 8 lbs... He's almost 9!!! 8.12 pounds to be exact!!! How crazy is that?! He's getting so big. And 20 inches long. So in 6 weeks he's gained 4 lbs and 2 inches!!! Growin boy he is!

The doctor said everything was perfect, he's a perfectly healthy lil boy, with the exception of his eye... Arg! He's still having all the eye goo, so dr. gave him some eye antibiotic drops because it may be a bacterial infection and we have to go back in a week. I'm a little hesitant on the eye drops... you know my skepticism in the medical community! lol... So I'm putting breast milk in his eye for a couple days, if that doesn't help then we'll do the drops...

Yep, I said I was putting breast milk in my sons eye to help with his possible infection. Breast milk has natural antibodies. The research on it is fabulous. If you have a cut put breast milk on it and it will heal up quicker then using Neosporin! So breast milk in the eye it is!!! LOL

I'm trying to think of what else there is, but it's 445 a.m. and I'm tired... Cooper is sleeping soundly next to me and I'm hooked up to the pump as I type lol... I think I'm all emptied out tho so off to dream land I go... Hopefully!!! I'll write more later if I can!!

xoxoxo

Amanda

Saturday, April 19, 2008

Mary Tocco Vaccination Seminar

We went to a vaccination seminar that Mary Tocco was doing this morning and it was fabulous! I really can't imagine why parents are still vaccinating their innocent children the way they are... Well I guess I know why, lack of information on vaccines.

Some things we learned today (or already knew) that reiterate why we are not vaccinating Cooper:

Some ingredients of Vaccines -
* Phenol - cabolic acid, a deadly poison
* Formeldahyde - used in embalming corpses and causes cancer
* Alum - a preservative
* Aluminum Phosphate - used in deoderants and very toxic
* Acetone - used in finger nail polish remover, very volatile
* Thimerosal - a form of ehtyl mercury, toxic heavy metla not easily eliminated from the body that can cause sever neurological damage as well as many other life theatening health problems. Thimerosal has been associated with gut problems, mental retardation, nervous system disorders and demyelinating disease.
* Anit-Freeze
* Fecal matter, horse serum, calf serum and chicken embryo

This is just appaling to me! I can't imagine injecting ANY of those substances into someone, anyone. It sounds like a recipe for a killing potion or something like that.

She made argument on the mercury (thimerosal) - if she broke a mercury thermometer and and tiny bead of mercury spilled onto the floor and someone called 911, the hazmat team would show up, evacuate the building, and go in with bubble suits on to clean up the hazard... Now why would we inject mercury into our bodies if this is the response it creates from just being exposed in the room?! Very scary.

Mercury is the second most poisonous element known to man.

Some can try to argue that thimerosall has been removed from vaccines, but if that is the case then what did they replace it with and where are the safety studies on whatever they added? The manufacturers of vaccines have stated that they removed thimerosal from all vaccines, but this is not true. They are still manufactured with thimerosall but they claim to filter it out in the end leaving trace amounts behind.

The EPA safety level of thimerosal exposure for an infant to a two year old is .01-4 mcg a day. By 1992 a fully vaccinated 6 month old received 187.5 mcg of thimerosal. 187.5!!! Think about that one....

Vaccines that contain thimerasol through 2003/2004
- Hep B given on day one at the hospital contains 12.5 mcg thimerasol
- DtaP has 25 mcg thimerosal
- Hib has 25 mcg thimerosal
- Flu shot has 25 mcg thimerosal
- RhoGam has 25 mcg of thimerosal given to Rh- mothers during pregnancy
- Even single dose vials contain thimerosal

Has any of this information made you stop and think about your decisions to vaccinate? I truly hope so! And that's not even mentioning some of the adverse reactions to vaccines... Let's go there -

Autism, juvenile type 1 diabetes, increased chance of alzheimers disease, asthma, learning disabilities, mental and nervous system disorders, chrohn's diseas, seizure disorders and that's just a few! And let's not forget the catch all phrase Sudden Infant Death Syndrome... No thank you!

Thank GOD I live in a state where we have the right to chose not to vaccinate Cooper. If we didn't I would seriously sell my house, pack up, and move to a state that does! In Michigan we have the right to chose to not vaccinate based on religious, medical, and philosophical reasons. No school can deny Cooper education because he is not vaccinated, no day care, no day camp, nothing... It is the LAW! Thank GOD!

Here is a list of the few states that allow religious, medical, AND philosophical reasons to not vaccinate - Arizone, Arkansas, California, Colorado, Idaho, Louisiana, Maine, Michigan, Minnesota, New Mexico, North Dakota, Ohio, Oklahoma, Texas, Utah, Vermont, Washington, and Wisconsin.

All states except Mississippi and West Virginia allow religious exemptions.

And all 50 states allow medical exemptions.

Waiver forms are available from the Department of Health. Be careful to read the waiver form from the state as it has a section on it that says "By signing this waiver, you acknowledge that you are plaving your child and other at risck of serious illness should he or she contract a disease that could have been precented through proper vaccinations." Do not sign this form unless you cross out that statement.

I haven't even begun to touch on the fact that vaccinations really aren't necessary. Illness is a part of life and development. There is no proof that vaccinations build the immune system. Many doctors actually believe that vaccines suppress the immune system functions, giving a false sense of health. Every time you give an antibiotic to a child you are destroying many helpful bacteria through out the whole body, leaving that child at risk of more infections. One of the ways the body gets strengthened is by challenges. The immune system is no different. When we allow our children's illnesses to run their course or allow them to work through an illness, we are actually building the immune system. Nothing in the human body gets strengthened by avoidance.... but by overcoming its challenges.

Dr. Philip Incao; holistic medical doctor said the following:
"I observed that my unvaccinated children were healthier, hardier, and more robust than their vaccinated peers. Allergies, asthma and pallow and behavorial and attention disturbances were clearly more common in my young patients who were vaccinated. My unvaccinated patients, on the other hand, did not suffer from infectious diseases with any greater frequency or severity than their vaccinated peers."

There is much much more I could say on this topic, but alas it is bath time for the babe so I must scram!

I leave you with this quote :

"The vaccine manufacturers, the CDC, the FDA, and various medical associations have failed misterably in their duty to protect our children. Rather than acknowledge their role in creaing the immense, catastrophic rise in autism, these organizations have resorted to denial and obstruction. They stand to loose their credibility and billions of dollars in liability suits which will soon reach our courts. The truth must - and will - emerge. It is long overdue"
- Dr. Bernard Rimland, founder of the Autism Research Society of America and internationally recognized as a leading expert in autism

AMEN!!!

Friday, April 18, 2008

I've come to realize....

Since having Cooper I've come to realize that...

- I've come to realize that I'm never sleeping longer then 4 hours at a time again.
-I've come to realize that I'm going to late for everything no matter how much planning I do to be on time.
-I've come to realize that I hate pumping so much.
-I've come to realize that Cooper is getting bigger everyday.
-I've come to realize that Cooper changes every time I wake up.
-I've come to realize that we don't "travel" light anymore.
-I've come to realize that we can't leave the house without diapers, wipes, pacifiers, bottles, nipple shield, breast pump and all accessories, diaper cream, a clean outfit for Cooper, a clean shirt for me, burp cloths, blankets, and toys... And that's just for a trip to Kroger!
-I've come to realize that I will never watch a television show all the way through again. Thank goodness for DVR's!!
-I've come to realize that eating is something I do when I can, not because I want to.
-I've come to realize that cleaning is over rated, I don't need a clean house to be happy.
-I've come to realize that the shower starting is like an alarm clock for Cooper.
-I've come to realize that I will never shave my legs again.
-I've come to realize that we're lucky if we have clean clothes to wear because who has time for laundry.
-I've come to realize that life doesn't get any better then this!
-I've come to realize that I enjoy every second of having Cooper in my life!
-I've come to realize that I don't mind all the "disrupts" to my life... I don't even consider then disrupts, more like blessings!!
-I've come to realize Cooper is my life, and he always will be, but I still need to take care of myself and my husband.
-I've come to realize that my husband is a wonderful man - so helpful and amazing!
-I've come to realize that I can't imagine how single mothers do it.
-I've come to realize that crying in the middle of the night with Cooper is perfectly normal and fine!
-I've come to realize that when Cooper's eyes are closed he's not really asleep because when we open the door, or get comfy in bed, he wakes up and starts crying.
-I've come to realize that A&D ointment is a godsend!
-I've come to realize that Pampers totally suck - Donating one vaccine for every package of Pampers bought, yea I'm not supporting that!
-I've come to realize that no matter what outfit Cooper is in, even if it's just a onesie, he is totally adorable!
-I've come to realize that Cooper is the light of my life!
-I've come to realize that even though he's only been here 6 weeks it feels like he's always been in my life.
-I've come to realize that I can't imagine my life without Cooper in it.
-I've come to realize that baths have a natural calming effect on babies.
-I've come to realize that when Cooper is hungry he means NOW, not in 10 minutes when the bottle is warm.
-I've come to realize that I can't drive when Cooper is crying, I have to pull over and feed him, burp him, change his diapers... whatever he needs.
-I've come to realize that Cooper crying pulls at my heart strings.
-I've come to realize that I will do whatever I have to do to calm Cooper down when he's upset.
-I've come to realize that Cooper likes to have some kind of background noise on when he sleeps (fan, sound machine, whatever).
-I've come to realize that Pebbles is okay with Coopers arrival.
-I've come to realize that baby stuff is expensive.
-I've come to realize that we always need baby stuff.
-I've come to realize that schedules and routine aren't an option to an infant... we do what he wants when he wants.
-I've come to realize that I love my son with all my heart!!!!

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Aunt Flow... UGH!

I started my period today. I was in total shock, I really didn't think it would happen so soon with breastfeeding. It's only been 5 weeks since I had Cooper and not even 2 weeks since I stopped red lochia, and was still having the mucusy lochia on Sunday! It just came as a total surprise lol... I wonder how my periods are going to be... When I was on the pill they were 1 day, before I started taking the pill they lasted 5 days... hopefully it'll be a happy medium with 3 days maybe!! Wishful thinking, I know. Lol.

Cooper has been sleeping almost allll day today... I hope that doesn't mean he'll be up all night. Yikes. He's been sleeping since about 11 (it's now 4) why can't he sleep that long at night!??! He doesn't do this everyday, this is the longest he's slept during the day in a few weeks. I keep thinking he's going to wake up because he's hungry, but nothing yet. He woke up a little around 1, had a bottle and fell right back to sleep.


Pebbles had to go to the vet today and get her rabies shot... Poor thing... I hate giving her any vaccines, but state law requires it. UGH.... So that's all done until 2011.

Time to figure out what to feed Paul for dinner... Bye!!!

xoxoxo

Amanda

Monday, April 14, 2008

No more Pampers...

Cooper slept from 1130 last night until 445 this morning... And he's been up ever since!!! YIKES!! I am so not a morning person.... He actually just fell back asleep, it's almost 10 a.m.!! UGH! He's been trying to go back to sleep since about 630 but he won't let himself, he keeps waking himself up grunting and wimpering... poor guy. I know he's tired, I know I'm tired... LOL
No more Pampers diapers for us, which is a shame because we really liked the Pampers swaddlers a lot. But I keep seeing all these commercials on TV for vaccinations and Pampers. Apparently for every package of Pampers you buy the company donates a vaccination or something like that... I don't think so!! There is no way I'm supporting immunizations. So we're switching to Huggies... We have some Huggies and like them as well.

I'm going to start using diapers.com to order our diapers. It's free shipping if you spend more then $50 and the diapers are cheaper. Any way we can save money works for me!!!

I just won the Fisher Price Laugh and Learn Puppy on Ebay for $8 plus $8 shipping, so $16 !! It sells at BRU for $20, so I saved 4 bucks!! Yippeee!! I also put in a bid on a cute newborn size outfit... it has a whale on it, of course! It's so cute.

Cooper has officially outgrown his premie clothes and is wearing newborn clothes. They are still a little big on him, but not too bad. The premie clothes are definitely small on him, he can't stretch out in them anymore! LOL He go long!!! I can't wait to go to the pediatrician next Monday to see how big he has gotten... I can see him growing literally right before my eyes, its wonderful!

I had yet another plugged milk duct yesterday and last night. I think I got it out this morning though. Altho I can see another one there... It's just so frustrating, but you know that already, I've been griping about plugged milk ducts and for 4 weeks now.... so painful.

I want to go to Old Navy today and return some clothes. Hopefully I'll feel like it. I feel so tired right now. I should try to nap while he's sleeping. I want to carry him upstairs and put him in his crib so I can nap in bed (not on the couch) but I'm afraid to move him!!! I'm afraid I'll wake him up...

Well, I'm gonna try to put him in his crib and catch a few ZZZZ's myself...

Wish me luck!!!

xoxoxo

Amanda

Friday, April 11, 2008

3 ounces...

So now that that is out in the open here's what I have to say today...

I met with Dr. Morgan yesterday. I actually kinda liked her... for her being an OBGYN and all. I wish she would have been the one to deliver Coop instead of Dr. McBride, I think she might have been a little more communicative (is that a word? well it is now lol).

Murphys Law naturally had the plugged milk duct and engorgement gone by the time I got to the dr.s office. Lol... I was going to call and cancel my appointment, but decided to go just to make sure everything was okay. She told me that it was plugged and then became engorged. I should try using a single pump for a while and massage my breasts down when I pump to help drain my breasts completely when I pump... It totally sucks using a single pump, it takes soooo much longer!!! About 20-25 minutes compared to 10! And that's along time when it's 3 a.m.!!! lol
I'm not sure what happened with Coopers sleeping pattern... Tuesday and Wednesday night Coop was up every 2 hours, literally! It was sooo hard on me. I totally wasn't used to that, he usually does about 4-5 hours between feedings at night, but not Tues and Wed for some reason. I think he might have been going through a growth spurt. Last night he slept from 1030 until 3, then 4 until 715!!! Then we napped on the couch together from 830 until 10.

I think the reason he was getting up so much Tues and Wed night was because he was hungry. So I've started giving him more breast milk. We are now up to 3-3.25 ounces every 2-3 hours!!! Such a lil piggy!! But such a cute lil piggy!!!! Of course I'm a lil bias, but that's okay I'm supposed to be. He slept good last night getting that 3.25 ounces before he went to bed.

We're going to have to get bigger bottles soon, the bottles we have now are only 3.5 ounce bottles. Soon he's going to be eating much more then that! On the 15th we're going to do a little baby shopping. I want to get the Baby Einstein play mat, a bottle sterilizer, bigger bottles, etc. So we'll see what we end up with... lol

I have discovered diaper.com and from my research I have found that the diapers we use are cheaper there then they are at Target, Meijers, and WalMart!!! And if you spend $50 or more it's free shipping, so it's definitely cheaper... I'm not sure about the wipes though, I think the wipes may be cheaper at WalMart.

Anyways, the kiddo is sleeping and I have laundry to fold, bottles to wash and sterilize, etc... LOL

Ciao Baby!!!!

Frustrating...

Yesterday was a really frustrating day for me. I think it was the lack of sleep and frustration of an extremely painful engorged/plugged breast. I wasn't going to write about yesterday but I figured I might as well. Here is what I posted on our private Mommy Board...

Well, I have to go to the stupid doctor today (as you can tell I don't like doctors LOL).­ I have had plugged milk ducts in my left breast for over 24 hours now, half my breast is hard as a rock and hurts to even have a shirt on.­.­.­ and when I stand up and the weight up it pulls down it brings tears to my eyes.­ I've tried warm compresses, the vibrator, massaging, nursing (which isn't easy since he still doesn't like to latch on too well), and have been pumping every hour!! It's crazy pain! Seriously it was worse then labor pains, labor pains go away every minute for a minute or so, this doesn't!!! Of course, my labor was only 2.­5 hours, so that may be why I can say that.­.­.­ lol.­.­.­

Yesterday I was on the couch in tears with a vibrator on my boob (got this tip from Allison, she said it helped her plugged milk duct break through) when Paul got home from work!! LOL.­.­.­ You should have seen the look on his face and heard him ask "What are doing?" It was so funny.­ I explained and he was kinda like "ummm okay.­ Is it working?".­.­.­ NO!!! I was really hoping it would though.­

So I called the midwifes office this morning just because I can't handle the pain anymore.­ It hurts like hell to even hold Cooper.­ I was just wondering if they could suggest anything else, but they told me I had to come in at 2 this afternoon because they are worried about mastitis.­.­.­ I don't think I have it, but maybe while I'm there she can do SOMETHING.­.­.­ ANYTHING.­.­.­ At this point if she said standing on my head naked and singing the alphabet backwards 12 times would get rid of it, I would be standing on my head naked screaming the alphabet backwards at the top of my lungs!! LOL

The midwives were all booked up so I have to see an OB, whom I've never met before.­.­.­ this should be fun! lol.­.­.­ I just want this pain to go away.­.­.­ It actually isn't as hard or painful as it was this morning, but it still hasn't cleared.­.­.­ I'm also getting worried that my milk is drying up.­.­.­ But it could just be because I'm pumping so much that I'm not getting as much when I do pump.­

I get so frustrated with pumping.­ i always spill milk all over myself, the couch, the floor, counter tops, the dog, etc.­.­.­ It's horrible.­.­.­ I don't know how I do it, but I can't pump without spilling a little.­ And Cooper won't latch on very often.­ I try every time he's hungry but he'll only latch on a couple times a day and then when he's emptied my boob he acts like he's still hungry so he gets a bottle as well.­.­.­ I know that he's getting enough because his bottle size is the size of what is in my boobies!! So when he does latch on he gets over 3 ounces and then an hour later another 3 ounces.­.­.­ But if we just give him a bottle he only gets 3 ounces every 2-­3 hours and is satisfied.­.­.­ I just don't get it.­.­.­

The whole situation is so frustrating.­.­.­ the past few days I've been in tears over it and can't seem to snap out of it.­.­.­ Good thing I'm going to the dr.­ I'm gonna talk to her about that.­ I keep saying that I'm done breastfeeding and pumping, that's it lets do formula.­.­.­ But I really don't want to do that.­ I really want this breastfeeding to work.­.­.­ I feel like such a failure becuase it isn't working out well at all.­.­.­ I feel like I'm doing something wrong.­ ARRRRGGGG


Wednesday, April 09, 2008

One month ago today...

One month ago today we were in the hospital holding our beautiful newborn baby!!! Today he is a bouncing baby boy, weighing over 7 lbs!!! Wow!! Things change so fast, I can't believe it's already been a month, but at the same time it seems like life has been this way forever, like I have had this gorgeous baby boy in my arms my whole life... I guess in a way I have, he has been in my heart my whole life!

In one month he has gone from 5 lbs to over 7. He has started latching on a little better, not every feeding, but much better then he was. He is sleeping in his room all by himself, like a big boy! lol. He is holding his head up so well and starting to really grasp things and hold on to them. He has gotten used to his diaper changes, but he still doesn't like his clothes being changed! lol. He went for his first walk yesterday.

We think he had his first social smile yesterday! It was amazing. Paul has 70's music on and Shake Your Groove Thang by Peaches and Herb was on. Paul had Coops arms and was "dancing" with him and we were both singing and he made this huge smile!!! He hasn't done it since, but that's the biggest smile we've seen!! It was definitely different from his "gassy" smiles!!! So exciting!!! I can't wait to hear his laugh, I think a babies laugh is the most amazing sound in the world, and I can't wait to hear my babies laugh!!!

Paul went back to work today. I was pretty nervous about this at first, but so far it's going great. Cooper went to bed at 9 last night and slept until 2. We went back to bed at 3ish and he got up at 430 (this was a new one! lol) and didn't go back to sleep till after 6, but then slept until 9! I was happy to sleep in until 9! Right now he's napping in his boppy, but he'll be ready for a bottle within 30 minutes most likely, which means I need to go wash bottles!!! Fun times!

I love my lil man more and more everyday!!!

Tuesday, April 08, 2008

Nursery...

Sunday night we put Cooper in his nursery for the first time. I was extremely nervous about this and was seriously ready to change my mind. But Paul reassured me that he would be okay, I could go in and check on him whenever I want, and he would even wake me up if he woke up so I could go check on him... I must have went and checked on him 10 times, and of course he was fine! lol

He actually seemed to like his nursery better then he likes the bassinet! He slept better, didn't fuss as much, didn't grunt as much, and fell right to sleep. We have a sound maker in there and it also prjects images onto the ceiling. We have the sound set to "rain" because he likes the sound of running water, and the images on the ceiling are fish and stuff (of course lol). Thanks to Fay for this wonderful gadget!!!

So far the nursery is working out smashingly! He slept in there last night as well. We go up around 430 to feed him and put him back in the crib awake (we couldn't do that in the bassinet, but can with the crib), he fell asleep on his own, but then grunted until about 8 a.m. until Paul got up with him. It was so funny to hear him grunt for so long... but he was sound asleep!! Everytime we went in to check on him he was out like a light.

He hasn't slept through the night again since last Thursday, but he's getting better.

Paul goes back to work tomorrow... I'm not looking foward to doing everything on my own again. it's been great having Paul here the last 5 days, he's such a wonderful help and I truly appreciate him. He changes diapers, feeds Cooper, cleans up, did laundry, putzed around outside yesterday, takes Pebbles out all the time, etc... It's great! I'm going to miss him! lol

We are going to go for a walk today. It's a pretty nice day today, supposed to be around 61!! woo hoo!! I think spring is on it's way... but it's supposed to go back down into the 40s later this week, and be rainy for the rest of the week. So when Coop wakes up from his nap we're going for a walk.

Well, I'm gonna try to get some lunch before he wakes up.

xoxoxo

Amanda

Pumping = Frustrations

This is going to be a rant, so beware!

I am so sick and tired of pumping all the time. I wish Cooper would latch on and I would never have to pump again.

I hate having to plan my days events around my pumping schedule, which is every 2-4 hours. I can't go anywhere for longer then three hours unless I can pump there (friends house I can pump at, mall I can't). It's so frustrating to have to plan my day around pumping... "Okay I have to pump at noon so I can't go to the store until right after I pump, and I have to be back before four."

I can never pump without making a huge mess. Our couch has breast milk stains all over it. I go through so many clothes and pajamas because I'm always spilling milk out of those stupid bottles. Whose frikkin bright idea was it to put two tiny holes at the top of those pumping bottles?!!? It's ridiculous. That's how I'm always spilling milk.

I can't eat, pee, drink, etc. until I pump when I get up. When I get up I am so engorged, leaking, etc. that I need to hurry up and pump. I hate having wet spots on my shirt all the time. I never leak when I have breast pads on, but the second I take those damn things out I'm leaking all over the frikkin place. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!

And it's even harded when I don't have Paul's help. When I'm pumping and Cooper is fussy Paul can calm him down (if he's home). Well he goes back to work tomorrow, so I'll be on my own again. It's so hard to sit there and pump and hear Cooper crying and crying and crying because he wants to be held. And I can't hold him and pump at the same time... I make an even bigger mess when I attempt that.

When I get up in the middle of the night I have to start warming up Coopers bottle, keep him calm while the bottle is warming, feed him, burp him, change his diaper, lay him down (and pray he doesn't start screaming), and then pump. This is why I don't hardly eat, drink, or pee in the middle of the night. By the time I'm done doing all that 1.5-2 hours has gone by and I don't feel like snacking, drinking, or peeing... And I get hungry DAMNIT!

I just wish he would latch on so I wouldn't have to pump....

And I'm getting sick and tired of cleaning all those damn bottles!!! lol... I know thats a little thing in the grand scheme, but I am! It seems like the only dishes I do anymore or bottles and breast pump supplies.

If he would latch on I wouldn't have to pump as much, wouldn't make a huge mess every 2-4 hours, wouldn't have 2 million bottles to wash and sterlize 400 times a day, wouldn't have to let my baby "just cry" because I'm busy pumping, would maybe get to eat, drink and pee every now and then, would be able to go to the mall without worrying about pumping in 3 hours, etc.... UGH!!!

I will admit though, it is definitely worth it. I would rather my baby have breast milk instead of formula... No offense to people with formula feed babies, but studies have proven that breast milk is far superior to formula. And formula is just plain nasty!!! Breast milk doesn't have any smell, tastes sweet (yes I've tasted it), and their poop has no odor as well... It's amazing!!

So since I would rather Cooper have breast milk instead of formula I have to pump 20 billion times a day because he's too damn stubborn/lazy and won't latch on... Wonder where he gets his stubborness from?!?! Not me, that's for sure! LOL

If only he would latch on....

If only.....

Saturday, April 05, 2008

And he sleeps...

Cooper slept 7 hours on Thursday night!!! I'm sure it was a total fluke, but it was great to get 7 straight hours of sleep. I had so much energy yesterday and felt great! Of course when I woke up after not pumping or nursing for 7 hours, I was totally engorged!!! But I pumped (got over 7 ounces) and the engorgement went away.

Did you know we had kitchen counters? Counter tops that aren't cluttered with papers, bills, baby stuff, pet stuff, etc. etc. etc.!!! It's great to see sparkling counter tops again! Haven't seen them since March 9th! lol

Last night Cooper slept from midnight until 230 and 330 until 730. So that wasn't too bad, 7 hours, just broken up a little.

I weighed Cooper the other day and he weighs a little over 7 pounds!!! He's a growin boy. Of course I don't know how accurate this is because it wasn't on a baby scale, we used out bathroom scale. I weighed myself without Cooper, and then weighed myself with Cooper and it went up 7 pounds. We have a pediatrician appointment on April 21 so we'll find out exactly how big he is then.

Cooper has been holding his head up since he was a couple of hours old, but now he's starting to get better control of it. Now when he lifts his head it doesn't flop back down or to the side. He can hold his head up and look at you, or look around the room. It's amazing.

He's getting much better at tummy time as well, still doesn't like it very much, but he's getting better.

We went to Barnes and Noble yesterday and got a couple books. One is on baby signing... we are totally going to do this with Cooper. The benefits are amazing - higher IQ, speaking sooner and with a larger vocabulary, speaking complex sentences soonger, less frustration in the "terrible twos" because they can communicate much better what they want/need, etc. It's great! So we're totally going to do it!

The other book is about teaching your baby to read! Yep, you read that right! So we're going to give that a go as well. Can't wait to see if it works!

Right now Coopy is laying in his boppy, looking worried just like his daddy usually does. He takes after Paul so much, he is such a worrier! He has that wrinkled forehead, eyebrows furrowed, shoulders tight and raised... Just like Paul does when he's worried. Lol... Like father, like son!

We are going to Old Navy today to get me some clothes. I've come to the conclusion that these last 10 pounds aren't just going to fall off in the middle of the night, and I only have 1 pair of comfy pants that still fit, and only a couple shirts... My boobs are bigger then they were before pregnancy, so my large shirts are really tight, which makes it hard for nursing or pumping. So we're going clothes shopping today. Plus I've also heard that my preprego clothes may never fit me again because my hips are wider after giving birth... So time for a new wardrobe!!! Woo hoo!! I don't know whether to be excited about the shopping trip or not! On one hand I'm getting new clothes and can spend money (a favorite past time LOL), but on the other hand I have to try on clothes, which means I will find out what size I really am... Can't hide in my sweats and maternity jeans forever!!! Yikes!

Mom was supposed to leave today but she had to leave on Tuesday. Andy had a heart attack on Sunday night and Tuesday was the earliest flight we could get for her. Andy is doing well from what I understand and should be at home actually. So since Mom left early, Paul took Friday off. He also has Monday and Tuesday off. So that gives us a nice, long 5 day weekend to spend as a family. And it's supposed to be a nice weekend... it's the 60's I believe!!!

We can't wait for Spring weather. Can't wait to take Cooper for a walk through the neighborhood. Can't wait to take Cooper to the park and walk the trails. Can't wait to just sit outside and enjoy the sunshine.

Paul just sat Cooper up in his Boppy.

Well, it's Coopers bath time and then off to Old Navy for some serious retail therapy!!!

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Coopers Pictures!!!

I want my mommy!!!

My mom is leaving today. She wasn't supposed to leave until Saturday, April 5th but Andy (her boyfriend) had a heart attack Sunday night so we got her the first flight home. Unfortunately that wasn't until today (Tuesday, April 1st). So she's been wondering around here totally worried about Andy. Andy is supposed to be having heart surgery soon... a 5 bypass. She can't wait to get home, and I want her to be there with him as well... but I'm not ready for her to leave!

What if I can't do it all myself?! It's been great having her here to help with the feeding while I was pumping, or diaper changes when I was busy, laundry, dishes, cooking, etc. Now I'm afraid I can't do it all myself!! In the mornings I would bring Coop downstairs, pump, and then go back to bed...Mom would watch Cooper for a couple hours... I can't do that anymore! I'm just so afraid that I won't be able to do it all myself. I know I can, at least eventually I'll get it all figured out...

Really I won't be doing it ALL by myself, Paul is still here... but he only gets up with me in the middle of the night on the weekends. And can only take care of Coop in the mornings on the weekends. He said he would take care of the laundry, dinner, etc... But I feel funny putting all those chores on him.

Paul is taking today off to take Mom to the airport... while he's gone we may go see Janelle and Benjamin... Not sure though.

I think he said he was taking Friday, Monday, and a couple days off next week as well... Just to help me out a little. But he can't keep taking days off work! lol.. I just can't wait for Cooper to start sleeping through the night. Jen slept through the night after 4 weeks, so did Jacob. I'm just hoping and praying Cooper does the same thing!

Last night wasn't so bad. He went to be around 8 and we went to bed around 9 and slept until almost 2!!! He slept for 6 hours!! Now if we could only get those 6 hours bettwen 10-4 and not 8-2! And then he slept from like 230 until 6!! So not too bad... He's getting a little better at it.

I also want to start trying to put him in the his crib in the nursery for naps. Get him used to that a little, because once he starts sleeping through the night in the crib he's going!!!

But anyways, I am going to miss her... She just left. Paul is taking her to the airport... It's so quiet here with just Coop and I. Coop is sitting in his boppy so peaceful. He's not asleep, just kinda chillin there.

Well, I'm gonna get off here... Nothing left to say! Just sad that Momma's gone.

xoxoxo

Amanda