Our talk with Jen...

So we went to dinner with Jen tonight... At the Outback. It was very yummy. And talked to her about moving out on March 1st....

Paul and I were both shocked by the response we got from her. She started crying. We never thought that would happen, or we wouldn't have talked to her in such a public place. We think she's terrified to live on her own. She says she already has somewhere to go. She says she can live with Megan and Karen so I guess she's going to go stay there. And Karen said that she doesn't have to pay rent until after she's working. So atleast she has somewhere to go.

The first thing she said after we started telling her this was "I'm not going to live on my own". We were just really surprised by her reaction. Plus we think that she feels we are saying "Well we're having our baby, and it's replacing you, so time for you to leave. Bye". And of course we're not. So we just have to reitterate (sp?) that we love her, and support her, will help her as much as we want, and just want her to be happy.

She has been told several times to work, and has refused to, so of course she doesn't have money saved. I think her mother sends her money a couple times a month. So since she's saying she doesn't need rent money for the month of March we're thinking we'll just pay for her state cosmetology boards (around $300). But we won't tell until we know that this plan with Megan is for sure. Because with her things change soooo quickly.

We've talked about letting her live in the basement, but decided against it because she takes advantage of us when we try to help her in ways like that. I'm afraid she wouldn't pay her rent and we would be forced to really kick her out. So we've already decided that it's not a good idea. But that was our original plan. Plus Sally says it's not a good idea, and we need to stop enabling her and just help her move out on her own.

It was a little akward/shocking to have her crying in the Outback. We're still suprised by it. She was going to watch Deal or No Deal and Moment of Truth with us, but after we got back from the Outback she showered, packed and bag and is staying at a friends for a couple days. I think she's pretty upset. We probably won't see her again until Friday or Saturday. She'll get over it, and we'll just keep telling her that we love her want her to be happy and we're going to help her out as much as we can. She has taken advantage of the living situation here big time, and it's time for a change. I just don't think she saw this coming. Which I find odd, but I really don't think she thought we would ask her to leave. I think she thought we were going to let her stay here for as long as she wanted for free.

So she left earlier and won't be back for a couple days. I don't expect her to stay here until March 1st. I think she's pretty upset and is going to move out as soon as she can. And since she says she already has somewhere to go, that could be any day now. Which is fine with me, we just keep telling her that we want to see her after she moves out and come over for dinner and stuff like that. So we'll see how things go.

I'm not trying to kick her out, but honestly it won't hurt my feelings any if she leaves early. She has been a constant argument with Paul and I since she's moved in. Orginally she was supposed to move out Aug 1st (yea of last year). But obviously that didn't happen. So she's been staying here, coming and going literally as she pleases. And complaining - her bedroom is cold, she leaves lights on all the time, she complains we don't have food to eat, when I told her to go buy her own deoderant she looked at me like I was crazy, when we told her my mom was coming on March 9th and she would have to move into the basement march 1st she said "umm okay" with a hint of "whatever" thrown in there.. when she's not even paying rent. It's just little crap like that.

She'll be 20 on Feb 23rd and it's time for her to grow up. I'm still shocked at how adament she is about not living on her own. I think she's terrified to live by herself. She's always had her dad taking care of her (too much care) and then when she was living with Eric (baby daddy) he paid all the bills... etc. She doesn't know how to take care of herself. We're trying to teach her how, but she's just not getting it... So now comes the "learn the hard way" part.
While Jen wasn't living with us Paul and I NEVER fought... She asked to move back in and we've been fighting since then about her... So yes, i will be happy when she leaves. I don't mean that in a cruel way, but it's true. I won't have to worry about "when is she coming home", "is she coming home", "what kind of mood is she going to be in", "is she going to make a lot of noise", "is she going to complain about something, if so, what"... etc.
I plan on breastfeeding so the "is she going to be home" one is a biggie for me. I don't want to be breastfeeding on the couch and she walks, let alone with a couple friends. I don't want to have just put the baby to sleep and she comes home and takes a shower, blow drys her hair, makes a lot of noise, etc.

Again, I'm not trying to be mean, but it's time she moves out on her own...

For her birthday I'm going to get a cute wicker basket from TJ Maxx and fill it with her shampoo, deoderant, soap, face wash, tooth paste, etc. So she doesn't have to worry about buying these things for a while. I think it's a nice gift.

So I'm not sure if any of this makes sense to people reading it, but it makes sense to us. We're not kicking her out, and we're helping her as much as we can. I've been looking online for apartments, and room mates, jobs for her, etc. We'll talk about these things at our first Tuesday meeting next week. She won't be home tomorrow because she's staying in Port Huron because we're supposed to get like 10 inches of snow tomorrow night and we don't want her to drive Friday morning thro all that snow all the way to Port Huron.

So that's it I think... Not much else to say... I'm gonna go get something to drink! talk more later!! as if I haven't talked enough! lol