Jens Plan

So here's what we've written (with Sallys help) for Jen's Plan....

You're almost 20 yrs old and have been an adult for a few years now and we feel that you are ready to be on your own with your own place and that you will be much happier.

We will help you achieve this by March 1st. You have many options open to you, such as living with a friend, sharing an apartment with a roommate or friend or just getting your own place. However, at this stage, it is more prudent to share the expenses with a roommate or friend. We will help you financially for the 1st month to help you get started. We will work with you on this, but you have to also do your part. In order to do this, it is important to have at least a part time job to help pay for expenses.

The time table for you to be moved out is March 1st. We want to help you achieve this and we are willing to help you find an apartment, room mates, or a friend you can stay with. We will help financially with some rent money for the month of March.

By April 1st you will have finished school, taken your boards, and should be working full time. Working full time will allow you to continue to pay for rent and become independent.

At this time you should be looking for a part time job. By February 10th we expect you to be working part time even if it's at McDonald's, a grocery store, etc. If this part time job interferes with school then you will need to cut back on your hours to save money for rent, gas, bills, entertainment, state boards, etc. We want you to be financially stable on your own. As we said, we will help you for the month of March with some rent.

We will touch base twice a week to see what progress has been made - what you have done to find a job and a place to live, and what we have done to help you with that process. This will happen on Tuesday and Thursday nights at 7:00 p.m. We want you to attend these meetings so that you have a say in your future and we know how we need to help you. We want you to be a part of this process, and don't want to have to make decisions for you. If you miss a meeting we will be forced to make decisions for you.

We know in the past we haven't always followed through with guidelines that we have set for you, but this time we absolutely have to. Mandy has to be able to take care of herself for a while. So please work with us on making sure this happens in a timely manner. We know you weren't looking forward to staying in the basement when Mandy's mother comes, and this will solve that problem.

We really enjoyed when you weren't living with us last year, and came over to have dinner or play cards. Those were very enjoyable times for us, and we would like for our relationship to be that way again. After you move out we would still like to be involved in your life. We would like to have you over for dinner once a week to see how you are doing. And your dad would like to spend some one-on-one quality time with just you. You are still his daughter and he wants to strengthen the bond he has with you even more then it is already. So he would like to schedule time for the two of you spend together so you can build a better relationship together. If you need to do laundry here, you are more then welcome to when you come for weekly dinners. Quality time is important to our family, and we want you to be a part of that time.

We feel this will be a positive experience for you and want you to start your life as an adult now. We are having a baby and feel that we need time to ourselves before the arrival of the baby, and after. This is the time for us to focus on Mandy and the baby. This is our time t live our lives and you to live your life. A new life phase is starting for us and a new life phase is starting for you. Go out into the world and enjoy it! We love you and want to support you in having a happy life.

We talked to her tonight while we were eating out at the Outback... My next post will be about that....