Fighting about Jen... Of course....

I haven't been sleeping well this week.

Paul and I have had some arguments about Jen.

She is almost 20 and we allowed her to move back in last May when she broke up with her loser baby daddy. So when she moved back in I told Paul that maybe we should stop TTC until we KNOW for sure when she will move out and he kept telling him "No we'll keep ttc. If we get pregnant the baby will be due in Marchish and she'll be done with school (cosmetology school) and moved out (or paying rent by then)." So I agreed and on July 9th we found out we are pregnant...

So anyways. The fight is that she is NOT going to be done with school until March 15th (because she missed 80 hours of school because SHE DIDN"T FEEL LIKE GOING AHHHHHHHH). My due date is March 15th! I was told that she would be moved out by march 1st and now she won't be... So now Paul is saying "well lets give her until April 1st. She'll finish school on March 15th and that'll give her two weeks to take her boards, find a job, and get an apartment or pay rent"...

It just p!sses me off!! And I'm sure this is mostly hormonal, but I really didn't want her living here when I bring my new born baby home. I don't want to have to worry about her too. I don't want her here while I"m trying to breast feed or take care of my baby, etc. I'm not trying to be selfish or anything, but I just don't want her here while I'm trying to learn how to take care of my baby. Plus she's not exactly someone I want my baby spending a lot of time with either, if you know what I mean. She's a good kid and everything, but obviously has issues if she's not taking care of her own son...

She was supposed to be done with school in the middle of February and then moved out or paying rent by March 1st. I feel that we should stick with the March 1st plan because she's the one that fucked up by not going to school and won't be done until March 15th. That's not my problem!!!!!!!!! She should have thought about all this shit before she decided she didn't feel like going to school for two weeks.

So we've been fighting (knock down drag out fighting) over this. And it's tearing me up. I've been so sad these past few days and just want it to be over. Paul and I are still getting along... as long as we don't talk about Jen . As soon as her name is mentioned it's on... I hate that. It's like we can't even sit down and talk about her because we totally don't agree and neither one of us is willing to change their minds.

I know in the end I'm going to end up saying "Okay fine April 1st" and honestly, that P!SSES me off as well... I'm always the one that has to give in with her and she's always changing her plans and disrupting our lives... It would be different if she was 15 or 16 (or still in high sschool)... or it would be different if she was responsible and respectful, but she isnt!!! I just feel like at this point, with her being 20, having a baby, almost done with school, that she should be on her way out... but she's showing NO signs of moving out anytime soon... I mean my god, we still buy her freakin deoderant for her and she refuses to work.... OMG!!!!!!!

I told her the other day that on March 1st she was going to have to move into the basement because my mother is going to be here and will need the spare room (that is next to the nursery). She looked at me like I was crazy and then said "Okay "

It just makes me want to scream. I can't believe I've let her live here this long, and it's only because Paul wants her here... But at some point I'm going to have to say "OUT" I just don't know when to put my foot down and do that... and it tears me up...

I just feel like crying all the time over this. I really don't want her living in my house. Paul has drilled it in my head for 7 years that she is not a part of my family, so I don't consider her a part of my family. Which is why I don't want her here when we bring the baby home.

I don't feel comfortable around her and that makes me mad. Becuase it means that I don't feel comfortable in my own house... No one should ever feel uncomfortable in thier own house... But everytime she's home, or even calls, I get uncomfortable.

Like Tuesday night - We were going to Babies R Us to order the crib and dresser and were waiting until Jen got home from school. At 5:30 we called her to see if she was coming home and when she would be home. Well it went straight to voice mail, so Paul left a message and we waited until 5:45 to leave... She still wasn't home. So we're in Babies R Us and of course she calls. Apparently her phone was dead so she had to call from someone elses phone...

The first thing she said was "Where are you"
I said "We'll be home in about 30-45 minutes"
"Well, what am I supposed to do"
"I don't know. We tried to call and couldn't get ahold of you and we waited until 5:45. We'll be home in 30-45 minutes"
"Well, fine" and she hangs up...

It's just so rude... And makes me so mad that she talks to me that way. And Paul wonders why I don't like her. I don't like people that are rude, disrespectful, and irresponsible.

I'm done talking about this... I just want to go back to bed and cry all day... It's just so sad...