Late night...

I'm posting our emails from today so we can remember when the last was that we had the "I feel neglected" conversation. Because I know we'll have it again in about a 6 months to a year. It totally sucks when I have to say this stuff to Paul...

Anyways, let me set it up. Yesterday I woke up a little depressed, mostly because we haven't made love since our wedding night (April 26). So Paul spent most of the morning holding me and consoling me. Which was nice. Then we went to CVS to print out some of our wedding pictures. I spent WAAAAYYY too much money and half of them didn't come out good, so we cant use them. So I was upset about that too...

Anyways, When we got home from Fay and Jerry's I was okay. And then DH was getting ready to start but Paul and I started fooling around a little, but because the show as starting it didn't go anywhere... and I was really sad and upset about. After GA I went to bed but couldn't sleep. So I started talking to Paul, even though he was sleeping. I was feeling very unappreciated, neglected, and taken for granted, and I told him that.

Eventually I calmed down around midnight. But was still upset because we hadnt made love. He started holding me, and then I started rubbing his chest. I wanted him so bad that I was shaking... it was almost like and urgency... I needed him. I needed to feel him inside of me, to know that we were still connected on some level, I guess. So we made, what is in my opinion, very desperate love. I couldn't get enough of him. It went on for about an hour, and I loved every second of it. When he started to pull out I started to cry though. I never wanted it to stop. We cleaned up and then went to sleep.

This morning I woke up feeling really bad for keeping him awake until one. I knew he would be really tired today so I emailed him... Here are the emails that went back and forth for a little while....

Here's the first email I sent him :

Lugg,

I was just writing to see how your doing. I'm doing
okay. I've been cleaning and doing laundry since I
woke up at 10. It's pretty nice outside today. I hope
your day is going okay, and I am so sorry about last
night. I just feel... neglected I guess. I know we
have this talk a few times a year, and maybe I should
just get over feeling this way... maybe I should just
get used to it. So I won't mention the next time I
feel like this, so we dont' have to go through what we
went through last night. Thank you for making love to
me though. It was great. I just wish you could do that
on a semi-regular basis... but I don't want you to
have to "try" to make love to me. I just want you to
want to make love to me and then do it.

I also wanted to tell you that I made it to the really
really hard (eye ball) level on dr. sloth. I did
somewhat okay... managed to kill about 3 of the
eyeballs... it's hard though.

Anyways, I also wanted to remind you to call DHL for
the keyboard pick up.

I better let you get back to work, I've taken enough
time outta your work day. Call me sometime. I will
talk to you later.

I love you with all my heart and am so happy that I
married you!!!

Love always,

Mrs. ******

(Luggett(e))

Heres the email me sent back to me:

Hi Mandy,

My day is going ok today.  And yes, it looks gorgeous outside.  I'd
rather be outside than in here.

And you do have to be sorry about last nite.  You were simply telling
me how you feel and I'm glad you are able to do that. You don't need to
accept "just getting use to it".  I'll try to be more aware of my
actions and be more loving ( which is how I feel anyways ).  I love you
Mandy.

Wow! you killed 3 of the eyeballs?  That's great.  Hope your final
score was good.  Anyway, I best get back to work. 

I Love You.


Love,
Paul ( your husband )

Then I emailed him back :

Paul,

In your email you said "You do have to be sorry about
last night". But it sounds like you meant to say "You
don't have to be sorry about last night". I'm not
sorry about the things I said, I'm sorry about keeping
you up so late. I know you must be really tired. So
for that, I am sorry.

My final score was around 7 billion I believe... so it
wasn't too high, but I sent it anyways.

I love you.

Love,

Mandy

Then he emailed me back with :

Hi Mandy,

Yes, you're right, I mistyped.  And yes, I'm a little tired, but I'll
be ok
today.  Drinking lots of Green Tea.

I hope you have a good day today.  I will talk to you later.  I Love
You.

Love,
Paul

That's the end of our emails. He says he's going to try to be more attentive and not take me for granted anymore. But we have this talk a few times a year, and things are good for a while and then go back to the way they were before the talk. I just hope things STAY good this time. He said he's going to take Friday off. We're going to start getting my name changed, and then take a picnic at Metro Beach. I'm looking forward to that .

Paul still hasn't gotten me a wedding present... 12 days after the wedding and now present. He had 6 months to get me a gift and still hasn't gotten it, that upsets me a liittle. He also said he was going to send me flowers but hasn't done that yet... Oh well...

All this aside, I love the man with all my heart and am so happy that I married him. Other then him not being sensitive towards my wants/needs, we're doing great... everything is great.

We're even getting ready to buy a house!!!! We found the house we want, and I'm giving Paul until May 20th to get used to the idea of buying a house and we're jumping on it. I can't wait... I'm so excited!!!

Anyways, this entry is long, so I'm gonna go.

I love Paul with all my heart!!!!!