I'm Scared

Paul will not have a job in 6 months - they are off shoring his job to India. He is training his replacements now. They want the training to be done by Jan 1 but are saying Paul still have 5-6 months left where he is now. Sooo Paul is looking for a job. This is the first time in his professional career that's he's HAD to look for a job. He doesn't even have a resume! Well he does now, he wrote it this weekend, but before Saturday he didn't.

We are most likely going to have to leave MI, which in turn means we will lose the house. We'll have to walk away... This is killing me. I love this house and so does Paul. We finally have a place of our own and have put so much money and time into getting it the way we want and we're most likely going to have to just walk away from it.

So as I said, Paul wrote a resume this weekend and is going to start sending it out. I've found 3 places for him to send it to so far. We're looking into Charleston, South Carolina; Raleigh, North Carolina; Cambrige, MA; Bentonville, AR; etc. Guess which one my mom is voting for?! LOL Of course Bentonville would be Wal-Mart. The only thing with Bentonville is we KNOW he would have to take a 20K paycut but we also know the cost of living is a lot lower there.... It's still scary to think of making 20k less we are used to. Bentonville will be our last resort.

I'm so jealous of Cooper. He has know clue any of this is going on. He gets to live his life, be a baby and has everything he needs and wants with no worries. Awww, to be a kid. I spent so much time trying to grow up to only want to be a kid again!! The irony LOL

Best case - we can stay here, Paul makes the same amount of $$ and we keep the house. (this will NEVER in a million years happen)

So realistically -

Best case - we have to move outta state, Paul makes the same amount and we sell/rent the house

Worts case - we have to move outta state, don't make as much and lose the house

Yea, our choices aren't looking so good. Oh joy... can't wait.

I was tucking Paul into bed just now and he looks at me and says "I hope I can always provide for you and Coop." and started crying.



I was proud of myself for not crying with him and just comforting him but damn that was hard. I don't know how to help him. He's having such a hard time with the work situation. This is the first time in 25 years that he's had to look for a job. He doesn't even have a resume! He's so afraid that Coop and I won't have everything we need. He's worried about not finding a job with equal pay to what he is making now. If he doesn't make what he's making now then we WILL lose the house and that scares and upsets him. If we have to move out of state for work then we'll most likely lose the house - there's no way we can sell our house for what we owe - our only hope of keeping the house would be a renter but the rent would be so high I doubt that would happen. He's also worried about the moving costs if we do have to move.

I said everything I could think of to reassure him that we're just fine and we always will be. I told him that we'll always have everything we need as long as we have him. I told him that I was frustrated because I didn't know how to help him and he started crying again and told me that I was helping him so much just by being here.

I love this man so much and I hate seeing him hurt like this. I don't know that I've ever seen him like this. Sure, I've seen him cry, but nothing that compares to what happened 20 minutes ago. He is such a wonderful husband, father, man. I just wish there was something I could do to take the pain away.